The Sky is Falling

I tried so hard to keep it together

But the sky is still falling

The earth is still shaking

The wind is still roaring

The clouds are rolling in

I see the flashes in the distance

Hear the rumbling from deep within

I'm gonna break, I'm gonna break

CHORUS

Is this the end for me?

I let it all go

The picture is broken now

I let it all go

Time to pick up the pieces

How did we let it get to this?

The rain is pounding my skin

The cold is freezing my heart

The air is tense and bitter

I feel so alone here, in the dark, dark, dark

But I'll keep looking for you

I'll search until the end of time

I will bring you back to me

CHORUS

Is this the end for me?

I lost it all

The picture is broken now

I lost it all

Time to pick up the pieces

BRIDGE

You gotta keep shining, shining for me

You gotta keep trying, trying for me

I gotta keep walking, walking for you

I gotta keep fighting, fighting for you

CHORUS

Is this the end for me?

I let it all go

The picture is broken now

I lost it all

Time to pick up the pieces

... Time to pick up the pieces

... I need to pick up the pieces

The Vampire Diaries

That’s the thing about Klaus and Caroline, no matter how much she tries to deny it, he brings out someone stronger in her. He sees her full potential, he sees where she could go if she would only believe in herself. And he’s not saying it just to win her over because the thing about love, the real, deep, in your soul kind of love, is that you can’t be selfish with it. Maybe the only time you can never be selfish is when you love someone, because you would do anything for that person, to see them live, truly live. And she can’t deny it, when he looks at her with those eyes, she’d have to be blind not to see it. No matter how insecure or selfish they are, when they are together they bring out the best in each other, and that’s how it ought to be. He makes her a stronger more independent woman and she makes him a better man, she makes him believe that there is still good in him, that he can BE good.  That’s what makes them so special. 

And it’s not just this one instance, or this one relationship, it’s the whole story, from the beginning to wherever it ends. It’s about these instances where love really does conquer all.  Everyone in this story has sacrificed for love.  Everyone at one point or another has been lifted up and beaten down by love.  The fact that the writers and the actor’s of this show can capture this and express it so eloquently is what makes this show so beautiful.  That is talent. To really make a story come alive; to evoke passion and purpose. This is what I see when I watch The Vampire Diaries.

Loved this video on YouTube so I'll share it

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2SqFT_-VyI&list=FLxjKqvI5PdM4Ul_Efv_lQpA&index=3

Big Decisions

The future is bright and airy. As I stand before an array of tunnels, dark and foreboding, I can finally feel the cool breeze that will lead me out; the smell of fresh air, and the promise of sunshine. The limitless sky stretched out before me, I feel hopeful. The possibilities are endless. The winds are changing.

I think the only things that top today are my birth and my wedding. Even though these emails are probably pretty generic, all I keep replaying in my head is “Congratulations on your outstanding academic achievement”. I mean, I never thought of myself as a university student before. I can’t even stop saying it, university. It hasn’t sunk in yet. I’ve never felt so excited and so scared in my whole life, but I know this is fated. I feel assured that everything will fall perfectly into place.

University… This is a big dream, but I’ve got 10 months to dream even bigger. I never thought in my wildest dreams that I would be going to university, it just sounds so smart! And it’s not to say I didn’t think I was smart, but university always had this je ne sais quoi about it that felt untouchable to me, like I wasn’t privé to that exclusive club. We set our own limits and its incredibly freeing when you let go of them.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWoJLdXJt0E

Computer problems?

Not that anyone actually keeps tabs on my blog, but my computer is currently not working. It makes it really difficult to blog because all I have is the shitty iPhone app, so until further notice my blogs will probably be sparse. I'll have to write with a pen and paper, god forbid :P haha. Which I've been doing. Since its all I've got right now. Sometimes it's good to get back to basics.

Sometimes I miss the pen and paper. Somehow it's become outdated but I envy the old scripters, they wrote so beautifully!! I've been revisiting a dark place recently and it's allowed me to learn some things about myself that I'd forgotten. Still waiting to hear back from school, I'm not sure how long these things usually take or even if they send you an actual letter in the mail. I'm sure you'll here from me though when I do. Hopefully it's good news! Ciao for now! And let's hope my computer is fixed soon!!

A.

Reading update

So I have officially passed the half-way point in my reading journey of 2012. Which is good because December 31st is fast approaching and I still have 35 books to finish!! I was doing the math and I was thinking I probably won't make my goal of 500 books, 335 of which are currently documented on Goodreads. When I started this goal 9 years ago I thought reaching 500 books would be easy!! I added 100 books to my Goodreads number because there are lots of books I've read that are not documented on there. Childhood books, school books, project books, things I've forgotten I read, etc. I thought if I could reach 400 documented books that would be the perfect compromise to reaching my goal, since I did an awful job of documenting my reading after I made that goal. I was clearly not that organised at 16 :P

So I have 35/65 books read for this year and about 2.5months left to reach it. If I wanted to complete my goal that would leave 35 more books I would need to read by February 18th which seems pretty unlikely. Somewhere along the way though I realized that reaching the goal wasn't so important anymore. In a small way this goal has pushed me outside my comfort zone and opened up opportunities and realizations about myself that I didn't know before. I've read books that under normal circumstances I would have never previously read, but I wanted to be open to reading new things. Even if I didn't like the book, I was able to learn something about myself. When I decided to start blogging the books I read, I in essence started writing again.

Writing has always been something I loved. I have always been good at writing and as I read my first book review to the most recent I notice that my writing has become better. I learned how to write a book review and I learned how to write about how a book made me feel. Some reviews were easier than others, and some reviews I haven't written yet. But I wanted to make sure I blogged about my experience. My friend made a good point the other day when I said that I didn't think I would reach my goal and it was "as long as you're having fun". All this reading has given me a great escape into new worlds I never would have experienced otherwise and its been an amazing journey so far. My vocabulary has improved and I feel smarter, my imagination is getting a workout and its given me time to myself. 

So here's to reading as many books as humanly possible by February 18th, 2013. The most important thing I learned from this is that even once my birthday passes I'm going to keep reading. There is always a new book out there waiting to be discovered, waiting to be read and waiting to take me on an unforgettable journey!! And I'm going to meet it head on.

A.

Beauty and the Beast

The demon lies dormant
Waiting to be risen
Relishing my torment
Within this hellish prison

He whispers in my ear
Tells lies of who to be
As I look into the mirror
Distorts the images I see

I clamber for the sky
Amidst the muk and mire
I spread my wings to fly
But they have caught on fire

The demon speaks so softly
Beckoning my trust
To decline would be costly
Although I know I must

But do I have such courage
To slay the beast within
In my heart I disparage
I'll do anything to be thin

As the beast lets out a triumphant roar
I know it must be too late
I lay my head down on the floor
And resign myself to my fate

I think of a sweet lotus flower
As it sprouts up from the mud
Cherishing my final hour
Feel the rushing of the flood

As the demon encompasses me
Tears gush down my face
Although I hold the key
I am too weary for this race

As this battle rages ever on
I'm soon to be deceased
Forever the demons pawn
As beauty is the beast

Reading: A Narrative

Take me on a journey
and let me feel the winding highs.
My heart explodes with emotion
Whilst my soul deeply sighs

Feel it coursing though my veins
Bringing me higher and higher
More spirit and more passion
burning like unquenchable fire

I need it, want it
Filled with a selfish desire
I demand it, devour it,
The situation has become dire

More suspense, more thrill
Leading me to the great beyond
But I start to sink, down, down
My moment no longer prolonged

I'm falling somewhere
To god only knows
My very great highs
Followed by damaging lows

As the fire burns out
I'm left an empty shell
Reality sets in
And I'm greeted by hell

My greatest distortion

Is my strongest despair

That this sweet intoxication

Is something I can bare

My deception is great
Since I always forget
My very great highs
Are filled with regret

As I turn a new page
I'm greeted with worries
But I don't need your help,
Just give me more stories...