Its been a very long time since I have written a post and I would attribute this to my wedding. I must say, I have never seen a calendar's days pass so quickly as I have since my engagement. With August 1st fast approaching I have come to realise it will soon be exactly 2 months before the wedding. 2 months. that's 60 days, 1440 hours and I have to ask where did all that time go? When I thought a year ago that I had so much time, no need to worry and now that time is gone and I'm left standing like a deer in the headlights with too many things in my brain wondering if it'll all turn out exactly as I pictured when I was a child. I have one more very important thing to do and then I'm sure that, even if I forget something, we will at least be able to get married. That is the marriage license. Its kind of weird to think that you need to go to a notary/lawyer so they can write up a paper that says "Yes, you are allowed to get married." Which I guess is supposed to mean that somewhere along in my life I haven't already married someone else in Canada, but it still leaves the question, why do I need to get permission to be married? I'm not 12, I'm an adult, half the time people they give marriage licenses too shouldn't have been given them, so why even waste all that paper.
Anyways, I probably should have documented this journey a bit better, but my stress and anxiety levels have peaked a bit and I can't say its something I really want to relive. However the closer it gets to the day I still can't deny this childish excitement I feel. And with every passing day I get more excited. I can't explain it, since all a ceremony means is that its written on paper, but there's something in that act. Something about standing in front of a bunch of people and saying "Yes, I want to spend the rest of my life with you because I love you and nothing can make that ever go away". Its like announcing your love to the world without having to shout it from every rooftop. Love is a beautiful thing. I think Love can be the strongest emotion in humanity. From it is birthed the greatest joy, and the most passionate jealousy. Its about knowing you belong to someone and they belong to you and you belong to each other, and there will always be someone in your life who is there for you.
Marriage to me isn't something that you just do, its something that just happens. Whether its in front of a judge, in the eyes of the law or in the eyes of god, its something thats birthed in your heart that says "I want the world to know we're together forever". This doesn't mean it will be an easy journey, this doesn't mean you'll never have an argument, but it stands as a reminder. It says, "there was a time I loved you so much I was willing to stand in front of a crowd of people to say that I wanted to spent eternity with you". And that's what I will do on October 1, 2011, I will stand in front of a large crowd and say "I will love you to the ends of the earth, wherever my heart leads me, wherever my path happens to go, I will still love you until death, and if there happens to be something after death, I can only hope I will meet you on the other side because my life no matter where it takes me, would just be incomplete without you".
I love you Matius <3
