Reading update

So I have officially passed the half-way point in my reading journey of 2012. Which is good because December 31st is fast approaching and I still have 35 books to finish!! I was doing the math and I was thinking I probably won't make my goal of 500 books, 335 of which are currently documented on Goodreads. When I started this goal 9 years ago I thought reaching 500 books would be easy!! I added 100 books to my Goodreads number because there are lots of books I've read that are not documented on there. Childhood books, school books, project books, things I've forgotten I read, etc. I thought if I could reach 400 documented books that would be the perfect compromise to reaching my goal, since I did an awful job of documenting my reading after I made that goal. I was clearly not that organised at 16 :P

So I have 35/65 books read for this year and about 2.5months left to reach it. If I wanted to complete my goal that would leave 35 more books I would need to read by February 18th which seems pretty unlikely. Somewhere along the way though I realized that reaching the goal wasn't so important anymore. In a small way this goal has pushed me outside my comfort zone and opened up opportunities and realizations about myself that I didn't know before. I've read books that under normal circumstances I would have never previously read, but I wanted to be open to reading new things. Even if I didn't like the book, I was able to learn something about myself. When I decided to start blogging the books I read, I in essence started writing again.

Writing has always been something I loved. I have always been good at writing and as I read my first book review to the most recent I notice that my writing has become better. I learned how to write a book review and I learned how to write about how a book made me feel. Some reviews were easier than others, and some reviews I haven't written yet. But I wanted to make sure I blogged about my experience. My friend made a good point the other day when I said that I didn't think I would reach my goal and it was "as long as you're having fun". All this reading has given me a great escape into new worlds I never would have experienced otherwise and its been an amazing journey so far. My vocabulary has improved and I feel smarter, my imagination is getting a workout and its given me time to myself. 

So here's to reading as many books as humanly possible by February 18th, 2013. The most important thing I learned from this is that even once my birthday passes I'm going to keep reading. There is always a new book out there waiting to be discovered, waiting to be read and waiting to take me on an unforgettable journey!! And I'm going to meet it head on.

A.

Beauty and the Beast

The demon lies dormant
Waiting to be risen
Relishing my torment
Within this hellish prison

He whispers in my ear
Tells lies of who to be
As I look into the mirror
Distorts the images I see

I clamber for the sky
Amidst the muk and mire
I spread my wings to fly
But they have caught on fire

The demon speaks so softly
Beckoning my trust
To decline would be costly
Although I know I must

But do I have such courage
To slay the beast within
In my heart I disparage
I'll do anything to be thin

As the beast lets out a triumphant roar
I know it must be too late
I lay my head down on the floor
And resign myself to my fate

I think of a sweet lotus flower
As it sprouts up from the mud
Cherishing my final hour
Feel the rushing of the flood

As the demon encompasses me
Tears gush down my face
Although I hold the key
I am too weary for this race

As this battle rages ever on
I'm soon to be deceased
Forever the demons pawn
As beauty is the beast

Reading: A Narrative

Take me on a journey
and let me feel the winding highs.
My heart explodes with emotion
Whilst my soul deeply sighs

Feel it coursing though my veins
Bringing me higher and higher
More spirit and more passion
burning like unquenchable fire

I need it, want it
Filled with a selfish desire
I demand it, devour it,
The situation has become dire

More suspense, more thrill
Leading me to the great beyond
But I start to sink, down, down
My moment no longer prolonged

I'm falling somewhere
To god only knows
My very great highs
Followed by damaging lows

As the fire burns out
I'm left an empty shell
Reality sets in
And I'm greeted by hell

My greatest distortion

Is my strongest despair

That this sweet intoxication

Is something I can bare

My deception is great
Since I always forget
My very great highs
Are filled with regret

As I turn a new page
I'm greeted with worries
But I don't need your help,
Just give me more stories...

The Tiger Saga

I did a more detailed first impression of the first book, so I'm going to keep this one a lot more brief. Encompassing Tiger's Quest, Tiger's Voyage and Tiger's Destiny, I have one word for them, AH-FREAKING-MAZING!! This series was so good I forgot to watch the Vampire Diaries!! I FORGOT VAMPIRE DIARIES!!! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!! I have spent the past 5 days vigorously reading like a maniac and only getting 5hrs sleep. I haven't even been eating properly. Considering I spent 2 of those days working 10.5hrs I'd consider my ability to read all four books that fast as an obsessive compulsion. They consumed me and lead me down one of the craziest emotional rollercoaster's of my life.  
I couldn't put it down, like I literally would put the book down, try to go to bed, and then start reading again. When I would FINALLY force the book out of my hands by giving it to my husband because I knew I had to work I would think about it until I fell asleep. The past 3 nights I've had off so I read until I could not keep my eyes open anymore, (which was around 5am)  and even then I was pretty stubborn and would try and keep reading. In fact, last night I dreamed about the books all night... or rather all morning... 

I am completely engulfed, and I don't want to be saved. If these books aren't under the Christmas Tree I will be disappointed! The only reason why I'm not restarting book 1 is because I still need to read 30 more books by December 31st. I read these books with such fervor I don't feel ready to start a new book because I feel like I need to just sit on this one for a bit. There was so much, my brain feels overloaded and I want to soak up every detail! I've even considered taking Hindi as an elective in school next year because I never realized what a pretty language it was. Go read these books, and make sure you have nothing to do because trust me when I say it is SO easy to just say "one more chapter". One more chapter leads into one more break which leads into one more page which leads into one more paragraph, which leads into one more sentence, which leads into "I'll just read to the end of the chapter"... and then BAM! Its 5 o'clock in the morning and you're eyes are feeling really droopy, but you keep reading saying "I just need to finish this story thought, I'll stop when they pause"... and then you're asleep on the couch. I will leave you with two quotes. They are both from Tiger's Destiny since that's the one I just finished. There's no spoilers.

"Somehow I made my way upstairs and washed my face and hands. I walked into my closet and discarded several items of clothing. Angrily, I tore through my closet, ripping clothes off hangers and throwing them violently across the room. I shredded the plastic wrapping on new clothes, then wadded the skirts into balls and pitched them at the wall.
       When that wasn't satisfying, I started on the shoes. I picked out the heaviest and hurled them. They each hit the wall with a gratifying bang. When I ran out of ammunition, I used my fists. I punched the wall over and over again until I tore the skin across my knuckles. Tears streamed down my face, and I collapsed into a wounded heap on top of my pile of shoes.
A shadow fell over my body. "What can I do?" Ren asked. He sat on the floor of my closet and pulled me into his lap.
I sniffed. "I don't have anything to wear."
"I can see that. Someone destroyed your closet while we were away."
I laughed wetly and then sobbed." (pg. 84)

"Cool? You are a devastatingly beautiful angel of death. If death came for me and it looked like you, I'd go willingly." (pg. 376) 

A.

Tiger's Curse

What’s not to love about this book! It takes the perfect balance of romance and action to a whole new level. Our lead is Kelsey Hayes, recently turned 18, orphan, looking for a summer job. She is, I think, what most post high schoolers are; a jumbled mix of emotions, filled with questions like “Which post-secondary school am I going to?” and “What will I major in?”, at least that’s how I felt after high school. She is very perceptive and smart, but not in an unrealistic way. I find her very relatable and I would probably be feeling the exact same as her if I was in that situation. Oh and there is the super hunky, half-Asian, half-Indian, Dhiren (Ren). He is everything you want a lead male to be, sensitive but not overly, strong, mysterious, muscular, piercing eyes, writes poetry and loves the classics, and boy does he know it; sex drips from every page that he is on. 

The chemistry between Kelsey and Ren is electric. It burns with this intensity but has an innocence that can only be portrayed in first love. Kelsey struggles a lot with her own fears and insecurities which gives their relationship a sense of realism. It’s not perfect and I liked that. Sometimes I found myself getting a little bit annoyed but when I reflected back I had to admit that I struggled with a lot of the same insecurities at that age. As Kelsey is thrown into the middle of a 350 year old curse she is forced to find a courage she didn’t know she had and helping Dhiren and his brother Kishan drives her to search deep inside herself for strength. She leaves behind everything she’s ever known to travel across India with Ren and Mr. Kadam searching for clues on how to break the curse, and we get some wicked action, Indiana Jones style. There are the traditional ancient temple booby trap sequences and also some that are magically infused. 

Colleen Houck really knows how to give us just the write amount of romance to get the blood pumping and then fluidly leads us into some of the most exciting action sequences I've read in a long time. The writing in this book is phenomenal. It pulls you into the story in a way few books ever have for me. My surroundings become invisible and there is only me and Kelsey traveling in a strange land trying to figure everything out. Tiger’s Curse is the first of four books with the fifth slated for a 2013 release and I seriously can not wait to read them. She definitely leaves you wanting more… and more… and more!! So far I would give this a solid PG-13 rating. I recommend this book to anyone who likes fantasy, action, romance and new cultures! I had to download a Hindi-English dictionary to understand some words and sentences and it just added so much more to the intrigue of the book.  

Go get this book NOW! :D

A.

Mockingjay

**There isn't actual PLOT spoilers, but maybe its a bit spoilery just because the books are so contrasty??** (I don't know)

***note***

I was going to do Catching Fire and Mockingjay together, but this ended up being about Mockingjay only. Catching Fire is a limbo book for me. It has small remnants of The Hunger Games, but those are slowly squashed out to make way for Mockingjay. So here's what I ended up with.

I can’t right an objective review of these books. This is my third time trying to write this review and I’ve about given up. I was too emotionally invested in this series and every time I sit and try and write a review all I seem to do is write about how pissed off I am. I felt like Suzanne Collins sat at her desk and thought “How can I take this really awesome female lead and completely destroy her”.  And thus Mockinjay was created. In war generally the bad shit falls randomly, but in Mockingjay everything was directed at Katniss. Everything was “how can I destroy Katniss; how can I strip her of everything she was; how can I take away everything that mattered to her”.

Maybe it’s the idealist in me, but Katniss was this amazing and fiery character in The Hunger Games and I expected more of THAT Katniss in the rest of the series.  Instead we are given an empty, broken shell of herself.  By the time I finished Mockingjay I was so numb, nothing really meant anything anymore. Mockingjay crossed a line for me, and there was no coming back from that. I broke. I was done. That was it. In the end everything Katniss worked for failed, her sole purpose throughout the whole series was destroyed in one line. ONE SENTENCE; that is how much worth was given to destroy everything she had worked for. Because of this I felt like the ending was just tacked on to placate me, “And they all lived happily ever after… with severe mental health issues”, like somehow that’s supposed to make it all better.

I leave you with a quote from this review on Goodreads that I thought best described my feelings about the book.

“I guess what depresses me most about this book is that I expected so much more from it. I know Collins is capable of power. In the end, I was too numb to feel its power, to even cry, to feel anything at all. I left a fantastic series with a major blank."

A.

My favourite house of night quotes

You can read my review here otherwise please enjoy the quotes and commentaries :D

"Crap _____! You scared me so bad I almost peed on myself" 

I swear this is the new "Fair point well made, miss Steele". Its so overused, and the reader does NOT need to know she almost peed herself every time she got scared (which seems more often than is normal with how often this phrase is used).

"darkness does not always equate to evil just like light does not always bring good"

This is quoted so many times, its like whenever she needed an extra line of writing, this would get slotted in there.

“I don’t like the way he looks at you.”
 My stomach lurched. “What do you mean? How does he look at me?”
“Like you’re not a student and he’s not a teacher.”

This series is so quotable, this is one of my favourite ones, but don't be fooled. Context is everything.

 "I continued as I finished smudging a little liner on my eyes (And I mean a little - the line-your-eyes-till-you-look-like-a-scary-raccoon is definitely not the look for me. Actually, its not the look for anyone.)"

Because when I think "a LITTLE liner" I instantly picture raccoon eyes and therefore totally needed her to clarify that for me. Thanks so much Zoey!

"Really?" I was amazed people actually lived like that. "You guys are rich."

 Aphrodite's parents have automatic bill payments... Apparently only rich people can set that up...

"The cupboards had a bunch of stuff in them, but it was all rich-people food. You know, imported tins of fish that still have their heads on, smoked oysters, other strange meat and pickled stuff, and long boxes of something called water crackers."

Man, those canned foods are so expensive these days...

"I thought she was full of poopy, but didn't want to say anything (especially since she'd make fun of me saying "poopy" instead of the s word)."

Please someone, find me a 17 year old who talks like this!

"Thankfully, the clouds had that had rolled in during the late night hours had multiplied, and the morning was dark and gloomy. All Aphrodite would have to do was cross the little grassy area that sat between the road and the wall that surrounded the school, go through the trapdoor, and then follow the sidewalk a short way to the dorm. As the Twin's would say, easy-peasy. I squinted up at the sky, considering whether I should try asking the wind to blow in more clouds to make it even darker, but a glance at Aphrodite's sullen face made me decide, nah, should deal with the sunlight."

Thanks so much Zoey for that extremely detailed explanation of how Aphrodite planned to go through the trapdoor to get back to the dorms. I kind of understood that from Aphrodite's dialogue piece where she stated she was going to go through the trapdoor to get back to the dorms. Meanwhile, P.C. Cast has another half page of pointless writing.

"While I attempted to continue to convince myself I'd made the right choice, I remembered what else was going on today. The Dark Daughters' Full Moon Ritual. My heart sank into my clenching stomach. Normally, I'd be excited and a little nervous. Today I was just stressed. On top of everything else, having Aphrodite join our circle wasn't going to be a popular move. Whatever. My friends were just going to have to deal with it. I sighed. My life seriously sucked. Plus, I was probably depressed. Didn't depressed people sleep for, like, ever?"

Context: Zoey is dating 3 of the hottest guys, one of them being the super hunky temp poetry teacher. She suspects her step-father of murder, oh ya, and she's the strongest fledgling (vampire in transition) to ever grace the face of the earth, has special magical powers, immense physical beauty, and is virtually unstoppable, is the most popular girl on campus and has a bunch of friends who follow her around like loyal little puppies. Yes Zoey, you're life is SOOOO awful! How do you wake up every morning. You might as well just commit sepaku right now. Clearly after sleeping EIGHT HOURS the night before you are severely depressed and should seek medical attention...

I'll sign off on my dialogue pieces that made these awful books worth it.

"Yeah," he said coldly. "Finding out my girlfriend, who has been playing oh-so-innocent with me, is really a slut would have been no problem if you'd, I don't know, advertised it in the school paper. Yeah, that would have been way better."
I flinched at his hateful tone, "I'm not a slut."
"Looked like you were doing a good imitation of one."

"Stop plaaying games with me. And you think Aphrodite is a hateful bitch? You make her look like a fucking angel!" (Woohoo go Erik!)

A.

The House of Night, books 1-3

The travesty that is the House of Night series is that P.C. Cast made an incredible world with an interesting story and then stuck unforgiving characters and shit dialogue into it. I legitimately wish I could read the rest of the series to find out what happens because the world is interesting, and the plot SHOULD be completely enthralling, there is just one small problem. The main character (Zoey) is a whiny ho-bag, the "twins" are a bunch of dumb bitches, and Damien and Jack are so gay stereotyped it feels completely unreal. And her main boyfriend, 19yr old Erik, doesn't grow any balls until the end of book 3 when he gets severely hurt and FINALLY (to my great satisfaction) calls Zoey a slut! That two pages of dialogue was the most satisfying part of this whole awful experience. (And then they write him out, psh)

The only likeable character in this series so far is the character everyone in the book hates, Aphrodite. I survived what is the first 3 books (barely) with my life. It was a close call, I've never had such a struggle to try and finish a book before and I'll admit I speed read a bunch and skipped a couple Zoey rants near the end of book 3. One of the biggest problems is that hardly anything happens in the books. Its like trying to watch the Naruto anime. By the time you FINALLY get back to the plot you are so frustrated and annoyed you can't even enjoy it, and then you are tossed into more filler shit. These 3 books could have been written into one really good book, but instead they are filled with multiple explanations and recaps of things you already know or are blatantly obvious. 

Half the book feels like she is just trying to fill pages, which unfortunatly takes away from the story. The story should be good but the honest truth is you could probably read every second or third book and not be confused by whats going on. Book one had the longest time span, I think it covered one whole month. Book two covered about two weeks and book three filled over 300 pages from a whopping 4 days! Do you realise all the incredible adventures Harry Potter had in his first year at Hogwarts? And that book was 310 pages. Instead of filling one book full of action packed adventure, P.C. Cast fills 3 books full of shit and dons it with jewels and feathers to try and make it look more appealing.

My rating for this series is 2 Anastasia's out of 5 Christian Grey's, because at least 50 Shades had sex in it.

A.

P.S.  Post with some of my favourite quotes here

Anam Cara

I’m unsure how to start this post. I guess I should start by saying I only got 3.5hrs of sleep last night. Normally this would be a bad thing, but in this case it was a good thing. I can’t help but feel excited this morning because of it, even though I might be suffering at work a little. So here is how yesterday went and how I found an Anam Cara (I really like that word!)

As per my usual, work was total chaos! And after not sleeping well the past few nights I was definitely feeling the burn. When I get high stressed I find it hard to eat so my eating habits had been sub-par to say the least and I wasn’t feeling too great, but I had a bunch of previous commitments and I felt bad canceling. So I forced myself to push through all the stress and anxiety. After work I went to my friend’s son’s 1 year birthday party! Which was so much fun and seriously, he is SUCH a cutie!! But that is beside the point. I was supposed to go to this housewarming party after the birthday party but I really wasn’t feeling up to it. I battled with myself for a little while humming and hawing, telling myself I was tired, I hadn’t eaten all day, it was all the way in Cloverdale, I didn’t even know anybody, how was I going to make conversation; all these arguments with myself about how I didn’t want to go, which boiled down to, I was feeling nervous and anxious and I wanted to go hide in my bubble at home and play guitar and go to sleep.

I didn’t do that. I forced myself to go. I stopped at my parents place on the way for some moral support, which I got from my brother who was home and went on my way (it was right around the corner from their house). I nervously walked up to the door and rang the bell, wondering if I had made the right decision in coming. All my doubts disappeared when I walked up the stairs and saw the look on my co-workers face, and thus started the night I found a kindred spirit. I’ve been thinking of it a lot because I thought the word kindred spirit was appropriate at the time but wasn’t sure exactly what it meant so I did some Google searching and was pleasantly surprised. www.dictionary.com defines a kindred spirit as,  

“a person who shares beliefs, attitudes, feelings, or features with another; also called kindred soul”

Although I had to agree with this definition, I felt like it was lacking in the way I felt during our conversations last night, so I went on Yahoo answers and found this definition,

“Some one you feel connected to but they aren't your soul mate”

I was really intrigued by this answer because it takes the connection beyond the physical attributes and gives it a metaphysical meaning. But I wanted to know more still, so as I was perusing I found this website (link) and my search ended. This was the definition I had been searching for,

“Kindred spirits are people that you connect with on a deeper level than just basic intellectual and emotional interaction. They are one who you have a unique spiritual connection with. That feeling that somehow you must have known them in a previous life and you've finally reunited.”

 because against all my anxiousness and reservations there was this instant familiarity with her. I was telling her stuff I hadn’t shared with anyone except my psychologist and that was ok. It just felt right. And the more we talked, the more we were the same. My anxieties were her anxieties, her beliefs were my beliefs, I was musical, and she was musical. We shared the same reservations, struggled with similar dysmorphia’s; it was really weird to be honest and now I’m trying to get rid of my self-doubt that maybe I overreacted or something.

No matter what though, it was an awesome time, and I was able to mingle and talk with complete strangers. I grew. I’m going to leave you with a final quote that I really loved, and where I got the Anam Cara word from. When I read it there is only one person I think of, I have known her for 17 of my 25 year lifespan and I hope everyone can experience a friendship like this at some point in their life. 

“The Celtic understanding of friendship found its inspiration and culmination in the sublime notion of the anam cara. Anam is the Gaelic word for soul; cara is the word for friend. So anam cara means soul friend. The anam cara is a person to whom you can reveal the hidden intimacies of your life. This friendship is an act of recognition. When you have an anam cara, your friendship cut across all convention and category. You are joined in an ancient and eternal way with the friend of your soul. Central here is the recognition and awakening of the ancient belong-ing between two friends. Since the human heart is never completely born, love is the continuous birth of creativity within and between us.

The anam cara experience opens a friendship that is not wounded or limited by separation or distance. Such friendship can remain alive even when the friends live far away from each other. Because they have broken through the barriers of persona and egoism to the soul level, the unity of their souls is not easily severed. When the soul is awakened, physical space is transfigured. Even across the distance two friends can stay attuned to each other and continue to sense the flow of each other's lives. With your anam cara you awaken the eternal. In this soul-space there is no distance.”

Take Care,

A.

October 1st

One year ago at this exact moment I was sitting in my mom's living room nervously anticipating the arrival of my bridesmaids, hair stylist and make up artist. I had slept all of 2 hours the night before, watching the clock flitter by all night, too anxious to sleep. Before I knew it the limo was showing up, boy did that morning go by fast. A flurry of make up, hair, laughing, everyone getting into their dresses. Everyone looked so beautiful!
One year ago today I married my best friend. I said I do, to the person I had decided I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. And then we had the best party I've ever been too. The best part of your wedding is that you get to pick everything! They play all your favourite music, you get to visit with all your family and friends and party all night long. And I got to do it TWICE! With all my friends in BC and then with all my family in Ontario! I still look at my wedding dress hanging in the closet and wish I had some excuse to wear it again! I never felt so good, as on my wedding day!
And so here we are one year later. 366 days (leap year) later, and I am looking forward to many more years, days, hours, minutes, with the love of my life.

A.